


Pieces

by WritingBAMF



Series: The Wolves [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, Coming Out, Consensual Underage Sex, Drug Use, Fluff and Angst, High School, I wasn't planning on making this angsty, I'm sorry this took so long, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, It'll be worth the wait, M/M, Oikawa is confused, Past, Pieces come together, Rivals to Lovers, Sexuality Crisis, This is basically the first part of The Wolves, To form a band, Underage Drinking, We're back to rock songs as chapter titles, im sorry, suga is in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:49:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26690131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingBAMF/pseuds/WritingBAMF
Summary: Suga meets Bokuto and Kuroo his first day of High School, they quickly absorb him into their circle (or line) and they force him into their band after listening to him play. Koushi never thought his High School life would start this good, his more problematic moments are about to start when certain person walks into the audition. If his face distracts Suga, his voice makes him forget where he is at.
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi
Series: The Wolves [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/776187
Comments: 18
Kudos: 30





	1. Smoke on The Water

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey hey! We're back with The Wolves and yes, way way back, We're throwing them back to High School when they first met and got together as a band! It'll be awkward teenagers, coming outs and a lot of making out. This story is centered in Suga and Oikawa, there is a lot of side Bokuroo because well they were figuring out stuff back in high school, which affects them as a band, but it is mainly OiSuga, if that's not your cup of tea, that's okaay but plz don't hate lol it's on the tags:3

It’s a Monday morning when Sugawara Koushi, black nail polish and recently ironed school uniform, walks through the big double doors and sighs. He feels like he doesn’t belong, but at the same time he know he earned his spot with sweat and hard work. He studied his brains out for the entrance exams and got the scholarship that would let him get into the only private High School in town. A sea of students who look exactly alike walk up and down the hallway from and towards the locker isles. Schedule on one hand and school map on the another he walks with a nervous smile trying to at least look like he belongs.  
He walks into Homeroom and he sits behind a boy with dark hair that covers half his face, his long limbs almost trip him when he walks in front. The boy snorts and Koushi laughs because that’s really the only thing he can do.  
“Sorry man, my mom says I went through a grow sprout through summer and I can’t control my limbs” He smiles at Koushi. “Everyone calls me Kuroo.”  
“I’m Sugawara Koushi, nice to meet you.”  
“You didn’t go to middle school here, did you?”  
“Nah, I just transferred for high school.”  
“I figured, I would’ve remembered a kid with sick nail polish.” Koushi hides his hands under the desk. “Don’t sweat it, we match.” Tetsuro grins and shows off his actually matching black nail polish.  
They keep talking for a while until their English teacher walks in and Tetsuro whips his head towards the front, he remains quiet for the rest of the class, taking notes and asking all the hard questions. Koushi thinks he at least has a study buddy for when midterms get closer.

When the class is over Tetsuro asks for Koushi’s schedule and walks with him to their next class, apparently their schedules are the exact same because they’re in the most advanced classes first years can take. They eat together on their free period and talk about Trigonometry and rock bands, Tetsuro tells him he has a band with his best friend, Bokuto Koutaro. He’s the funnest, he just dyed his hair white for some reason he looks ridiculous and It’s not really a band, it’s only us two. But it will be the greatest band of all, He says.  
“We’re holding auditions next week for the battle of the bands. You play?” Who he assumes is Bokuto Koutaro sits down beside Tetsuro and puts an arm around him.  
“I play the guitar, yeah.” It feels intimate, the way Koutaro starts to eat Tetsuro’s food, he doesn’t know where to look so he stares at his food.  
“You do? Why didn’t you say anything?!” You have not stopped talking about this guy in front of me, He doesn’t say. “You need to audition.”  
“You don’t even know if I’m good.”  
“You look like you’re good.” Koutaro keeps eating Tetsuro’s carrots.  
“How long have you been playing?”  
“Practically ever since I could hold a guitar with both my hands.” Koushi laughs, because that sounds ridiculous, but it’s also true.  
“Come to the audition, two weeks from now. Check the flyers! Bring your own guitar!” Koutaro stands up. “Gotta go, will be late for whatever class I have now.” He takes his schedule out of his pants pocket. It’s basically a ball of paper now. He waves goodbye and leaves, Koushi notices Tetsuro staring, he says nothing. He doesn’t know them, it’s only the first day of school. They stand up after eating and Koushi notices girls whispering and giggling when they walk past them, he is aware they’re looking at Tetsuro and when he is quiet everything else seems too distracting.  
“Ignore them, it’s annoying, I know.”  
“I thought you didn’t notice.” Koushi says honestly.  
“They don’t care about me anyway, they’re all after the money.” Tetsuro moves his hands mimicking throwing bills from them.  
“I might be after the money myself, now that you mention it.” Tetsuro laughs out-loud and his laugh would be annoying if he wan’t so nice.  
“If you stick with us and get on the band, you’re gonna be swimming in cash and girls soon enough.”  
“Not keen on swimming with girls, yes keen on swimming in cash.” Koushi tests the waters because since he came out, his friends treated him a bit different, but his mother told him High School kids would be different, and he’s tired of lying to himself and other people.  
“Word.” Tetsuro says and puts his hand out on a fist, Koushi bumps it and that’s the end of it. High School doesn’t seem like it’s gonna be too bad. 

The rest of the day goes by as normal, teachers introduce their class and he sits next or behind Tetsuro at each of them. They walk together and bring up small talk on the way; Where did Koushi go to middle school? The district’s public school. When did Tetsuro start playing bass? Back in middle school when Koutaro said they should form a band. What do Koushi’s parents do for a living? His dad’s a police officer and his mom is a kindergarten teacher. What is Tetsuro’s hobby, other than playing bass? Playing games with Koutaro. Why did Koushi start playing guitar? His grandma gave it to him one Christmas and he just kind of went with it. What’s Tetsuro’s favorite place? There’s a tree house at Koutaro’s house where they get together to read manga and listen to the newest albums they get.  
Koushi notices a pattern but is not going to mention it right now, maybe never, not at all. He just met them and it’d be weird to ask this new person if he’s obsessed with his best friend. He’s pretty sure he already knows the answer, and he can understand the feeling. 

By Wednesday he gets invited to go to the music store to buy some new album Koutaro and Tetsuro are obsessing about, he’s never heard of this band. When he mentions this Koutaro gasps and pretty much demands Koushi goes to the store with them and then they’ll go to Koutaro’s tree house to listen to it together. He’s never been a person to make friends easily, but he fits with them like a puzzle, so he agrees. He calls his mom and tells her he won’t be back for a while and she sounds happy, he hasn’t been out with friends for a while. She makes him promise he will let her bake them some cookies and yeah yeah mom do whatever you want bye, see you tonight, yes love you too, bye. Tetsuro wiggles his eyebrows at him and Koutaro fucking giggles. He’s known them for three days and he’s gotten enough of them.  
“She sometimes forgets I’m not one of her kindergartners.” He tries to make up an excuse.  
“Mine forgets I’m human, I’ve been running away from afternoon class like a madman.” Koutaro fakes a shiver and Tetsuro hits him right on the center of his back with an open palm.  
“If you made the smallest effort in normal school, she wouldn’t have to do this.”  
“Are you kidding me? You know she would!”  
“True, true.”  
“Have you ever gone to afternoon school, Suga?” The nickname stuck by the end of the first day of school.  
“I don’t think I could ever afford it.” He almost sighs and Tetsuro nods understandingly, Koutaro sighs defeated.  
“Lucky you.” 

Koushi enters yet another new glass door this week, this time to a newly discovered (for him at least) paradise. He’s never seen so much music together, he’s never had an album of his own, he lives from music on the radio or tv, his parents are not keen on technology so the one computer in his house is old and practically useless for anything not homework related.  
So being in this musical paradise is an experience; there’s a million records and a couple guitars that catch his eye, there’s a variety of other instruments but he is not interested. He drifts away from his friends and they let him, they’re always having this private looking conversations full of whispers and giggles and Koushi always thinks they’re about to kiss but they never do. They try to make him a part of it, but no matter how good a friend he is to them, he notices that’s something he will never be a part of, in a good way. Maybe it has something to do with childhood friends, he doesn’t have anything like that either.  
He is checking out some guitars, pretty much just touching them, when a nice lady gets closer to him and asks him if he wants to try one. His eyes blow wide open and he nods and points to an electric blue Ibanez Guitar. He takes it from her hands and puts the strap over his right shoulder and holds it, his hands trembling. She gives him a pick with a smile and he almost drops it, his hand’s won’t stop shaking. He touches the top E string and his whole body shivers, he has never had an amplifier this neat sounding, he has an old hand me down from one of his cousins. The G chord has never sound so clean and perfect, it’s exhilarating. He starts warming up his fingers for a few seconds, could’ve been minutes, but he’s not counting. And without noticing his fingers moving faster, he starts playing.  
He’s not sure how much time has passed but he opens his eyes and sees Koutaro’s face right in front of him, his expression like an open book. He’s excited, eyes wide and mouth open on a blinding smile. Tetsuro at his side is looking from him to Koushi with an expression not unlike Koutaro’s. There are a few more people looking at him and he sheepishly gives the guitar back to the lady who is still smiling at him.  
“Did you like it?” She asks.  
“Yes, thank you very much. I’d never heard anything like it.”  
“It’s the newest model, the amplifier is also available and we have some discounts right now if you buy the set.”  
“I’m so sorry, but I’m not buying anything.” He blushes. “We’re here to get an album.”  
“That’s alright, the offer will be available throughout the whole month.” She never stops smiling as she walks away.  
“DUDE!”  
“What the hell was that!”  
“I thought you said you were ok, but this was not ok!”  
“I mean I’m a fine player.”  
“You are more than fine, like dude you’re in the band.”  
“Don’t even come to trials.” Koutaro grabs his face with both hands. “Actually yes come, but help us find a singer.”  
“We’ll also need a second guitar.” Tetsuro puts a hand on Koutaro’s shoulder. “You are an amazing player, I don’t wanna hear you say you’re just ok.”  
“B-but I-“  
“No buts, you’re in.” Koutaro grins at him and Tetsuro stares at him from his peripheral vision.  
“Ok.” Koushi looks at his feet, maybe he is going to help his mom bake cookies for the two of them, maybe he is going to ask for their favorite dessert, maybe he wants to be their friend forever and keep them around for the rest of his life, he is sure he wants to play with them, and it wouldn’t matter if they sucked. 

On Friday, he does bring back chocolate chip cookies Tetsuro eats one before Algebra II. Tetsuro is sitting in front of him and they’re talking about auditions; they’ve been sticking posters on lockers and even got permission to use the school’s auditorium. Koutaro walks in and sneakily sits down besides Tetsuro who glares at him.  
“Bro, go back to your classroom.”  
“I don’t want too, it’s too boring.” He puts his head on top of the desk.  
“You should be able to at least understand it, this is not the first time you’re taking this class.”  
“How are you on High School if you failed a class last year? Didn’t you go to summer school?”  
“Don’t remind me.”  
“We’ve been at the Institute our whole life, you pretty much just need enough credits to move on. Bokuto here chose to fill his credits with useless classes this summer.”  
“Ceramic was not useless!” He lifts his head off the table as the teacher walks in.  
“It was not that useful for you either.”  
The teacher stands up in front of the three of them and stares at Koutaro.  
“Mr. Bokuto, please go back to pre-algebra.” She turns around and leaves her notes on the desk.  
“I thought she wouldn’t notice.” He tries to whisper.  
“You failed my pre-algebra class last year, I know you’re not in my Algebra II group.”  
“Point taken, see ya bros”  
“Go study!” Tetsuro laughs.  
“I hope he’s ok.”  
“He’s gonna need our help in the future.”  
“That’s ok, I’m a good teacher.”  
“Good, I suck.”  
Class starts and they stay quiet until lunch time. The three of them have the same break on Fridays so they eat together, Koutaro stuffs his face with cookies and he talks about some show he started watching with his dad last night.  
“There’s a vampire and he starts infecting everyone with some weird parasite and then new vampires start being born.”  
“Sounds amazing!” Tetsuro says, and Koushi doesn’t say anything because it does not sound amazing at all, he’s not good with horror and he’s not gonna start, so he tries to change the subject.  
“Do you think a lot of people are coming to auditions next week?”  
“I sure hope so.” Tetsuro says.  
“I will go berserk if it’s just a bunch of girls there to see you.”  
“Has that happened before?” Koushi asks.  
“It gets pretty annoying.” Tetsuro sighs. “You’ve seen it on the halls, it’s the reason we don’t hang out with a lot of people.”  
“We used to hang out with a bunch of people in Middle School, but that turned out not so great, so we decided to start a band and just forget all these idiots.”  
“It was a mess.”  
“What happened?”  
“They started talking shit about Bo so we would stop being friends?”  
“Like that could happen” Koutaro side hugs him like he does every time they’re close.  
“Yeah, like I said, a bunch of idiots.”  
“Are you like the bachelor around here?” Koushi asks and Koutaro bursts out laughing.  
“It’s literally like you are!” Koutaro talks while he takes breaths between laughs. All bad thoughts erased, Tetsuro stares at Koutaro while he laughs and Koushi smiles at them, he doesn’t understand it but he doesn’t have to. When Tetsuro looks back at Koushi looking at them and he looks away while he blushes. Koushi really doesn’t have to understand it to understand it.  
It’s almost a week later when they find themselves sitting at the front of the auditorium, they put up a microphone stand with a mic on it, waiting for their main singer. They got together to play on Saturday and Koushi was singing for them, they all agreed it was nice, but he didn’t have as much volume or range to sing all the Rock & Roll songs they were planning on writing. Tetsuro was right, there are a lot of girls who come onstage and none of them seems remotely interested on the band, some of them are flirting with Koutaro, but both Tetsuro and him are too blind to notice that.  
There’s a couple of people who come in to sing rock songs but none of them have anything special. They write down some names and numbers; there’s one girl who is exceptionally good and they’re about to call it a day and just take her because they’ve been sitting here for hours with no real progress when a guy comes in with an acoustic guitar on his back.  
“Am I on time?” He’s a little out of breath but he speaks in full sentences. “I’m sorry I got caught up in class.”  
“Hey! You’re in my class, right?” Koutaro smiles, “You’re right on time”  
“I’ve seen that white head somewhere, hard to miss.”  
“See! I told you it looked cool!”  
“He never said it looked cool.”  
“It doesn’t.” The stranger says and Koutaro looks offended.  
“I kinda want to say you’re in already” Tetsuro laughs and Koutaro hits his bicep. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding!”  
Koushi can’t speak, he’s not sure this person in front of him is real, it’s the most beautiful face he’s ever seen. Brown hair and brown eyes have never been angelical, but Koushi is almost sure he see’s a halo, things get confirmed when this angel starts singing.  
“You’re perfect.” Koutaro exclaims pulling Koushi out of his thoughts.  
“I don’t think we have to discuss it, right?.” Tetsuro grins as he asks Koushi, he can only nod. “So what’s your name?”  
“Oikawa Tooru.” Is the name of Koushi’s angel.


	2. Summer of '69

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga realises his crush on Oikawa in the weirdest of ways, at first he thought he was kind of annoying, with the egocentric, but now all Oikawa does doesn’t seem annoying in any way. The nickname Suga-chan is warming up on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter's title has nothing to do with the chapter it is neither summer nor there is a 69 in the work.  
> I do not have a beta reader but Grammarly has given this a grade of 99 so I hope you like it.  
> I try to make chapters a bit long since a lot happens in them.  
> I'm trying to cover three years of high school, so bare with me, I promise this will be a good ride!

Koushi's angel, as he quickly realizes, is nothing but a devil. He smirks a lot, talks too loud and too much, gives everyone nicknames, he's stealing Koutaro and Tetsuro away from him, and he flirts with every-single-girl in school. It gets on his nerves. Girls come close to them, more often than not looking for Koutaro or Tetsuro, and Tooru sweet talks them so much that they have started to go for him stead. This is precisely why the two have been keeping him so close. 

He is a good company, the least of the time when they're at rehearsal mostly. When he's singing instead of talking, and there are no girls he can flirt with, he changes a lot when he's at school. But he is an entirely different person when they're at Tetsuro's music room in his house, where no one can see them. They talk about music, and Koutaro and Tetsuro hold each other's hands when they think the other two aren't looking, or maybe they don't notice they're doing it. Koushi believes it might be the latter.

"We need to pick a song for the contest, like, soon." Koushi mentions.

"Oh, we're not picking. We're gonna write one." Koutaro grins at Tooru, and he smirks that annoying smirk that makes Koushi want to put him up against a wall, unsure what to do next. "We've been working on that while you two nerds have been working on school work." He stands proudly.

"You should not be sounding so proud of not doing school work," Tetsuro says. "Midterms are coming, and I at least know Suga and I are ready for them." 

"Well, if Suga-chan here is ready, he can help us study." Tooru puts his arm around Koushi's shoulders, and he gets a shiver, from annoyance, obviously. 

"I don't waste my time on lost causes." He answers without looking at his face. He doesn't like it when Tooru's face is too close to him. It makes it harder to think. 

"True, now talking about not such lost causes." Tetsuro comes to his rescue. "Show us what you've been working on. I'm sure we can catch up." He grabs the bass, and Koushi's hand is already on the guitar. 

"Already on it." 

"Hey, hey, hey! Let's do this!" Koutaro is sitting on the drums, and Tooru grabs the mic. 

Koutaro starts playing a beat, and Tooru plays some chords on his guitar, Tetsuro gets a hold of the rhythm fast, and Koushi is quick to follow. Soon enough, the four of them are in synchrony, and Tooru is singing in that majestic voice. Koushi is glad he is this good at playing the guitar; his fingers are doing things his mind is not aware of, his eyes too busy staring at lean backs, straight shoulders, and messy hair. He gets caught staring, and he finds himself smiling, probably blushing, but he can't really feel his face, so he's not sure. 

"I gotta admit, you guys are good for something." Tetsuro looks happy. 

"Hey! We're good at lots of things!" 

"Name two." 

"I have more than two, and you know it!" Koutaro sounds annoyed, but he's smiling when he stands up. He is a bit taller than Tetsuro. 

"Enlighten me." Tetsuro is already grinning when he takes a step towards him. 

"Are they going to spar?" Tooru asks Koushi.

"I hope so." The alternative seems too personal. They are way too close. If they don't interrupt, something is going to explode in Koushi's heart. "Hey! I liked the song!" He almost shouts, and Koutaro jumps back an inch and smiles at him. Tetsuro stays where he's looking straight at nothing, smile gone. Koushi can see a blush starting to rise on his cheeks. 

"Hey, can I get some water?" Tooru asks at no one in particular.

"Oh!" Koutaro perks up. "Follow me, the Kuroo's just bought this weird-ass water pouring machine. It's awesome!" And just like that, Tooru is dragged out, he's looking at Koushi, and he almost looks disappointed. Koushi's brain has not been working correctly for the last couple of weeks. 

"I forgot you were here." Tetsuro whispers. "I really forgot you were standing right here." It almost sounds like a confession.

"Looked like he forgot too." Tetsuro shakes his head.

"No, he didn't." 

There's laughter coming from the hallway, and Koushi knows the conversation's over. He wishes it wasn't, he wishes for answers, but he also wishes he didn't have any of the questions. 

Koutaro and Tooru walk in talking about the new artifact in the kitchen that seems straight out of a sci-fi movie, according to Koutaro. This leads to Tooru suggesting they should watch a movie, and since it's already time to stop rehearsal, they agree. Tetsuro sits the furthest away from Koutaro, who looks confused but is happy to sit next to Tooru, who talks through the movie. He's happier not to get shushed. Koushi's side burns where it touches Tooru. He tries his hardest to convince himself it's because he's annoying.

Koushi finds Tooru after school the next Friday, he's with a girl, but he waves her away when he spots Koushi. Their interactions have been weird. He doesn't like Tooru too much, honestly. So far, all he's seen in him is a condescending little shit that speaks too much too quick and can't shut up for his own good, he's dense, and everything goes through him. He can't write in all kanji and can barely do math. But Koushi's seen him at rehearsals and at the audition. He knows how passionate he can be and how dedicated he actually is when things matter to him.

Koushi is more frustrated because he has three new friends who he can't seem to crack, not even one of them. But Tooru is the easiest to talk to because it mostly involves listening, and Koushi is extremely good at that. He finds it easier to talk to him than the other two. They have more mundane troubles. They start talking about school at first, and it feels like he's talking to Koutaro for a moment. Until Tooru tells him about his father taking a second job and his mother taking more shifts for him to study here. Koushi tells him the only way he could afford to come here was the scholarship, and for some reason, he offers to tutor him from here on out. Tooru seems ecstatic.

They go for a walk, they live close to each other, and even though that is not too close to school, they don't mind. They fall into an easy conversation about music and sci-fi movies. Koushi learns that Tooru is way, way into aliens, and he's happy to hear about all the theories he's read about. 

"So, what's the craziest one you've heard so far?"

"Not sure I could choose. Some of them are plain insane, but it's still fun to read what other people think about it."

"I thought you actually believed in all that shit." Koushi tries to not sound as surprised as he feels.

"Only a true idiot would believe it all so easily." Tooru sighs. "I used to be that idiot." They both laugh at that. 

"What happened?"

"Well, I read about this insane conspiracy that aliens were coming to get a bunch of true believers on a night where the Moon covered the Sun completely. So I waited and waited, and then I realized, the Moon could never cover the Sun."

"Oikawa, you do realize what you're saying, right?" Koushi stops walking, and a few steps later, Tooru stops too.

"What?"

"That's literally called an eclipse." Tooru's eyes open up like plates as he stares at Koushi.

"Fuck! I forgot those existed." 

Koushi laughs and walks towards Tooru. He puts his arm around his shoulders and pulls him to him while walking. 

"Make me a list of which classes you think you're doing bad in. I'll teach you the art of not paying for education."

Tooru grins at Koushi, a smile like he's never seen before. It glows so brightly he feels blinded. It's been happening lately. When Tooru smiles, Koushi forgets what's happening around them. But this smile is different, so Koushi lets himself drown in it.

The first time Koushi visits Tetsuro's house without Koutaro is weird. It's been months since he first met Tetsuro, and this is the very first time he has been invited by himself. He's afraid to ask why. He eats lunch with his parents, who ask about Koutaro's whereabouts before they ask for his name. 

"He's not here, obviously," Tetsuro replies half-heartedly, it's like he's trying to be rude, but he's more upset than anything.

They continue speaking, and they finally ask about Koushi's family. The Kuroos are nice and welcoming, not unlike their son. They seem genuinely interested in whatever Koushi has to say and offer; they look pleased to know he has a scholarship. They mention Tetsuro has never had friends to study with. 

"I have tons of friends! Yaku, Kai, Take!" He's counting them with the fingers in his hands, and he looks like he's trying hard to come up with names. His mother laughs, and Tetsuro goes red.

"I know, I know. I do miss Morisuke, smart young boy."

"It's not even my fault he hasn't been around!" Tetsuro crosses his arms and pouts.

"How's he doing?" His father speaks for maybe the second time since they sat down; he's very much like Tetsuro but seems a little more reserved. "Is he still in boarding school?"

"Yeah." Tetsuro looks at Koushi. "Yaku is one of my best friends. We used to play volleyball together in middle school. He left to become a pro." He grins. 

"That's so cool! I used to play volleyball too, but I dropped it." 

"Tetsuro did so too, for music." His mother looks at him and smiles. "He's so good at it. We're very proud." 

"Okay, our queue to leave the table." He grabs Koushi's shirt and yanks him up. "Thanks for the food!" 

Koushi is dragged up towards Tetsuro's bedroom. They go in, and he closes the door.

"Just in time." Tetsuro grins at him.

"Huh?"

"She starts and never stops. I've learned when to walk away from that."

"But your mom is so nice!"

"Yes, she is. Too nice." He drops down onto the bed, and Koushi sits down beside him. The bed is huge, and they both fit there perfectly. The four of them fit on it whenever they are all around. "Hey," Tetsuro sits down after a few minutes of silence. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but I hope you do."

"Answer what?" 

"What's going on between you and…" He starts wiggling his eyebrows.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Koushi knows exactly what he's talking about. 

"Come on! Your face is so red!" In a second, Tetsuro's face is right in front of his. He can feel his breath on his face. He pushes that shit-eating grin away from him.

"What do you want me to say? We study together!" 

"No." Tetsuro's cheeks must hurt from how hard he's smiling. "We," He points between them. "Study together. You two" He points at Koushi and then at the window. "Flirt while reading a textbook." 

"He tries so hard!" He doesn't even try to deny it. He covers his face with both his hands and flops back first onto the mattress. "It's so hard!" He lets out a nervous laugh, and Tetsuro barks a laugh.

"What's hard?" Tetsuro's face is once again right in front of him as he pushes Koushi's hands away from his face. They're both laughing now.

"Teaching him! Teaching him is hard, you filthy asshole!"

"Because whenever you look at him, the whole world turns to flowers and hearts and love songs," He puts his hands together and bats his eyelashes. 

"Not quite." Koushi knows Tetsuro is making fun of him, but he can't if he doesn't let him. "I think that's more you and Bo." 

"Ugh! Don't get me started about that. It's so fucking annoying! He's a true idiot."

"If you don't mind me asking, why is he not here?"

He groans as he stares at the ceiling while he talks. 

"He kissed me the other day." Koushi wants to say something, but he's afraid Tetsuro will stop talking. "It wasn't even the first time, you know? But it was the first time I really kissed him back." After a few seconds, Koushi realizes Tetsuro's done with this thought.

"Do you kiss a lot?" 

"I would say not enough." He sighs. "It's always his idea. The first time he kissed me was at last new year's party. He said he wanted to kiss me, and I just said yes."

"Why do you talk about it like that's a bad thing?" 

"Because he likes me but not like I like him. I know that. He won't say it, though. He doesn't look at me like you look at Oikawa." He smiles at Koushi, and this time it's sincere.

"How do you know he doesn't like you back? He could've fooled me." He ignores the comment, even if he knows it was well-intentioned.

"Because he's never said it."

"Maybe he's confused."

"Maybe."

"I think I like Oikawa."

"You should kiss him."

"I don't think he likes boys."

"Only one way to find out."

"I think you should talk with Bo."

"I know. But what if he doesn't like me?"

_Only one way to find out_ , he thinks. 

A week before midterms, Tooru and Koushi are in Koushi's bedroom, sitting on the floor surrounded by notebooks and textbooks. Tooru is working on some math problems, and Koushi is downright staring. He knows he's a little bit mean, making the problems extra hard so he can look at him a little longer, but he knows that's going to make it easier for him to pass the exam.

They have been spending a lot of time together, with and without Tetsuro and Koutaro. Studying is Koushi's favorite excuse to be alone. He can put his elbow on the small desk on the floor, rest his head on his hand and just look at Tooru's tongue, poking out of his lips in concentration. He scratches his chin with the pen, and he'd cry if he noticed he is using the wrong side, but Koushi finds it endearing. He does not think when he licks his finger and tries to clean Tooru's chin with it.

"What are you doing?" It's until he speaks that Koushi notices how close he is, but he can't move away.  _ 'Only one way to find out,' _ he hears Tetsuro's voice inside his head. This is such a bad idea. He pushes himself away slowly. It almost pains him. Tooru is breathing deeply, staring at his eyes while he moves away. None of them say anything, but for a split second, Tooru's eyes rest on Koushi's lips, and then they're kissing. 

It's Koushi's first kiss, and definitely not Tooru's. He tries to catch up, but he feels a bit too inexperienced, he sits there trying to kiss back, and Tooru's hands grip on the back of his neck and grab at his hair like he's afraid he's going to move. Koushi is not going to move if he can avoid it. His hands hold Tooru's face when his tongue licks at his lips, all he can do is open them. Tooru hums, so he figures that was the right move. He kisses him harder and puts more of his weight on him.

The weight is too much on Koushi's body, and he falls down on his back, the kiss doesn't break, but Tooru is now straddling his hips. If he doesn't like boys, he at least likes me enough, he thinks. They separate to take a breath, and Koushi can't keep his words inside.

"I like you." Tooru starts kissing him again, and the only thing in his mind right now is ' _ because he's never said it _ ' in Tetsuro's voice again. He pushes the thought to the back of his mind. All of his thoughts are now concentrated on something else entirely. Tooru grinds down on him, and they both moan loudly enough to remind Koushi that his parents will come home soon. He hopes it will take longer because now Tooru is kissing his neck and moving his hips, and Koushi can't think when he speaks again. "This is my first kiss." That makes Tooru stop and look at him with wide eyes. 

"Shit, shit." Tooru starts pushing his hair away from his face, drying the drops of sweat forming on his forehead. He sits on Koushi's hips and looks around desperately. Koushi grabs his forearm, more to calm himself down than him.

"What's wrong?" He whispers, afraid to scare him any further.

"I-I'm sorry." Tooru doesn't look at him anymore. He's looking at the door mostly.

"I'm not." Koushi lets out a breath when Tooru finally looks at him again. He thinks tears are about to burst out of his eyes. He lets go of Tooru's arm, and when he doesn't move, he sits up and puts his hands on Tooru's waist, his movements slow. He has to rearrange his position, and when he does, Tooru closes his eyes and sighs. That's when Koushi sees what must have freaked him out. He decides to be brave as he puts his hand on Tooru's thigh and moves it up slowly. He never stops looking at his face. "I like you." He says again before he puts his hand on Tooru's erection. He gasps, and they're kissing again.

Their hands touch, touch, touch, and their lips kiss, kiss, kiss. They're both trembling, Koushi can feel his hands shaking and his skin burning, but he can't stop. Tooru is touching him under his shirt, he's pushing it up, and when it's stuck on his armpits, he hears a door closing, and he stops kissing Tooru.

"I think my mom's back." He whispers. A couple seconds later, there's a knock on the door, but she doesn't come in; she never comes in when he has company over.

"I'm back, Koushi. Is Tooru staying for dinner?" Koushi looks at Tooru, who just looks back at him, looking for something.

"Yeah, we're almost done with biology!" Tooru puts his head on Koushi's shoulder, and he shakes, trying to contain laughter.

"That's good. I'll make some cookies for you to take home!" 

"Thanks!" It's almost inaudible, but her mom doesn't come inside or ask anything else. Koushi's glad because he would not be able to explain why they're on the bed, legs tangled together. His best choice would've been the truth: ' _ Tooru said the carpet on the floor was burning his knees, mom.' _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it!!! Chapter three is already written and I'm working on chapter four. I'm sorry these are taking so long but I started working and I don't have that much free time!  
> But I will never drop a story, ever ever ever. You can also follow me on twitter :D  
> I'm new over there but come say hi!  
> https://twitter.com/WritingBamf


	3. Heat of the Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga doesn't know what's going on with most of the things happening in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advanced, this chapter literally wrote itself I let the characters do what they wanted, this is not my fault.

"He kissed me," is the first thing he tells Tetsuro when he walks inside their math class. "Or I kissed him, but I don't think it matters." Tetsuro doesn't look at him. He's biting on his pencil eraser while staring at a sheet of paper on his desk. Koushi recognizes it as homework. He grabs his copy from his backpack and puts it on Tetsuro's desk.  
"My angel!" He starts copying it, and they sit there in silence. They're always the first ones to arrive. They're still alone by the time Tetsuro finishes. "You are a life savior."   
"Care to share why you forgot to do homework?" He grabs his paper back from Tetsuro's hands.  
"I was busy this weekend." His face starts to blush, but he's not looking at him. He fixes the collar from his shirt, and Koushi tries to not stare at the bite mark on his neck.  
"Looks like a wild one from here." He smirks when Tetsuro flinches and covers the mark with his hand.  
"Are you fucking kidding me?" He looks at Koushi now, freaking out.  
"Hey, hey, hey!" Koutaro walks in on a jacket that's not part of the school uniform and a bright red scarf. "I'm freezing."   
"Hey, Bo," Koushi says, staring at Tetsuro, who hasn't moved his hand from where it is.  
"Hey, Suga!" He looks at Tetsuro. "Hey, babe." Koushi wishes he didn't have to stop looking at Tetsuro because his face just got redder. Koutaro smiles at him while he gets closer and kisses his temple. "I gotta go to my class; I promised I wouldn't miss any single one!" He tells Koushi. Before Koutaro can leave the seat next to them, Tetsuro yanks the scarf off Koutaro's neck, and he yelps. "Hey! You could've asked!"  
"You have absolutely not a gram of any type of shame, do you?!" He puts the scarf on his neck aggressively.  
"Why are you so mad? I'm going to class!" Koutaro looks so confused, Koushi has no idea how Tetsuro doesn't soften.  
"You, animal!" He keeps circling his neck until he runs out of scarf. "You said it wasn't visible!" He half whispers. Koushi notices how Koutaro's eyes grow larger, and his cheeks grow redder. He looks at Koushi and then at Tetsuro, and then at Koushi again.  
"I thought no one would notice!" He explains to Koushi, more than Tetsuro.  
"Well, he did notice! What if someone else had sat behind me?!" He grabs Koutaro by the collar of his jacket.  
"But no one else did." Koutaro grabs Tetsuro's face with both hands. "I'm sorry ok, I won't do it again even if you beg for it." He kisses Tetsuro, and the sound of a pencil falling makes Koushi look back. They're alone except for a girl sitting in the back; Koushi waves at her apologetically, and she nods back, picks up her pencil, and continues what she was doing. He looks back at his friends, who are no longer kissing but still holding each other; Tetsuro still looks mad.  
"Why'd you say you couldn't tell when you obviously can?!"  
"You would've been mad if I had!"   
"No, I would've put on a scarf this morning instead of just showing off proof of -" He shuts up and lets go of Koutaro. "I'm sorry, I panicked."   
"It's ok." Koutaro hugs him, and it's funny because Tetsuro has to hunch a bit so that he can put his face on the crook of Koutaro's neck. "I have to go to class, though."  
"You did promise."   
"I did."  
"Go then."  
"In a second."  
"Koutaro Bokuto, please, please go to your classroom." Their teacher walks in. "Study harder if you want to be in my class."  
"I was just leaving." He grabs his bag. "Bye." He says at the both of them and jogs out of the room.  
"What just happened?" Koushi asks when Tetsuro flops on the chair.  
"You kissed Oikawa." Tetsuro rests his face on his hand while he wiggles his eyebrows at him.  
"Stop avoiding!"  
"You're avoiding it!"  
"We just kissed!" He says. "And I might've told him that I like him, but we just kissed."  
"Wait, did you tell him that you like him before or after you kissed?" Tetsuro squints his eyes at him.  
"Both?"   
"Good."  
"So, what was this all about?"   
"He came to my house on Saturday, and my mom let him come up to my room while they were heading out for some work trip. Can you believe that? My own mother! She knew I was feeling weird about him!" Tetsuro shakes his head. "But long story short, he asked me again and again if I was mad at him and why." He pauses for suspense. Koushi knows this. "So I told him everything."  
"And what happened?"  
"He said that he liked me, but he wasn't entirely sure that he liked me." He emphasizes the word. "But he asked me if I wanted to try."  
"Try what?"  
"Dating."   
"With him?"  
"With him."  
"So you're dating?"  
"Yes?" Tetsuro squints again and looks away.  
"Why do I feel there's something you're not telling me."  
"Because there is."  
"What is it?"  
"Why can't I keep secrets from you?"   
"Because considering you fell in love and are now dating your best friend, I'm the next best thing."  
"It's not fair. You ask too many questions." They both talk fast, not giving each other a second to process their answers.  
"And you don't spill enough answers."  
"Maybe I don't want to tell you everything."  
"Then stop asking like you do."  
"What if I want to tell you?"  
"We do tell each other every-"  
"We had sex." Tetsuro interrupts.  
"-thing, but if you don't want to say anything." Tetsuro's words hit him a few seconds too late.  
"Cat got your tongue?"  
"I was gonna say that's a good enough reason not to do homework."  
"Thank you." Tetsuro smiles.  
"For what?"  
"For not asking for details?"  
"Why?"  
"Because it sucked."   
"I know you'll tell me about it sooner or later."  
"Yeah, but it'll be later. Let me process it."  
"Right. Did you do the chemistry assignment?"  
"Fuck me" He puts his head on the table.  
"Oh, don't mind me. Someone already did." He takes out his finished homework and puts it on Tetsuro's head, he takes it with a groan.

Midterms go by easy and quick; even Koutaro passes them all. He claims Tetsuro has been tutoring him, but Koushi knows precisely what that means. There has been some studying, though. The day after exam week, Koutaro sits proudly on his desk and shows his test to their teacher.  
"Koutaro, please. Go back to your class." She looks tired, but she's smiling. Koutaro smiles back and, without another word, walks away.  
"I honestly think that's exactly why he studied so hard," Tetsuro tells him. "He's been copying me since elementary school, and now he just passed a test by himself."  
"You must be proud."  
"Yeah." He smiles, and the conversation's over.   
They go back to rehearsal that same day after school because the event is closer than they thought it would be. So they get together in Tetsuro's music room. Even though Koutaro and Tetsuro are standing closer to each other than usual, nothing seems unusual when they start playing. They still sound great, and the song Koutaro and Tooru wrote works entirely with the style they want. They sound like a real band; they don't make mistakes, Koushi's solo sounds perfect, and Koutaro's riles even them up. Excitement can be smelled in the room.  
"Don't forget to open the windows when you're done, darling." Tetsuro's mom opens the door the second the song finishes. "It reeks in here."  
"It's the smell of success, mom!"   
"Was that awesome, or was that awesome?!" Koutaro stands up so fast the stool falls to the ground.  
"Bo, your solo was insanity!" Koushi looks back, and Koutaro's excitement quickly overcomes all of them.  
"But Suga-chan, your solo was so good too!"  
"Yeah, Suga, you were awesome!" Tetsuro elbows him on the side.  
"Hey! Say something nice to me!"   
"You're always awesome," Tetsuro says, and Koutaro's smile gets bigger than humanly possible.  
"You're more awesome." Koutaro moves closer to Tetsuro.  
"I am suddenly very, very thirsty," Tooru whispers to Koushi before he starts walking towards the door.  
"Me too." He says, in more ways than one, he doesn't mention  
Koushi wonders, as Tooru pours two cups of water, why he hasn't talked to him about what happened in his house two weeks ago. Not much has happened, but it's the little things that are driving Koushi mad. Like how Tooru holds his hand when they're watching a movie and Tetsuro's softest blanket is over them. Or when they're alone in his room and Tooru sits Koushi between his legs when they're studying. Or moments like this, when in a split of a second, Tooru is sitting on the kitchen island. Koushi is standing in between his legs, his hands resting on solid thighs made of pure muscle, Tooru's arms rest on Koushi's shoulders, and he's just smiling down at him.   
It's never Koushi who initiates the kissing, and there's always a moment before Tooru leans in when he stares at him like he's waiting for something. Koushi doesn't know if he's looking for doubt on Koushi's face (he won't find any) or if he's waiting for Koushi to deliver something; he has no idea. So he leans in himself this time, and he has to stand on his tiptoes because if Tooru is taller than him standing, he is taller now on the counter. It always happens, him forgetting where they are when he kisses him until someone clears their throat behind them. He prays to whatever god will hear him, that it's not any of Kuroo's parents.   
"Well, well, well." Tetsuro's voice fills Koushi with peace for the first time in his life. "You like danger, don't cha" He slaps the back of Koushi's head. "One of the few days, my parents are actually around, and you decide to full-on make out in my kitchen!"  
"They were making out?" Koutaro walks in, smirking. "Not even I make out in this house when the Kuroos are in here!"   
"You do realize I'm a Kuroo, too, right?"  
"Yeah, but whenever I am making out, it's with you."  
"True."  
"Sorry to interrupt, but we're gonna watch last year's Halloween special. And thought of inviting you."  
"How nice of you, considering we're here." Koushi laughs but starts walking behind him. A hand on his shoulder stops him, and he looks back at Tooru. He hasn't spoken a word since the two came in. "You don't want to watch it?"  
"Yeah, let's go." He lets go of Koushi's shoulder, and they walk side by side. When they sit on the couch, Tetsuro does not offer any blankets, so Tooru doesn't take his hand.

"Maybe he's just shy," Koutaro says between bites.  
"Yeah, I don't think you did anything wrong."   
"I do feel like I did something wrong, though."  
The three of them are sitting at a table in the cafeteria. Tooru is nowhere to be seen, which is weird because he's been eating lunch with them for the past months.  
"Maybe he is suffering from gay panic." Tetsuro shrugs.  
"What does that even mean?"  
"Oh! It's when you didn't know you were gay." Koutaro says, confident, but then looks at Tetsuro. "Right?"  
"I guess? I don't know I never had that."  
"It's so annoying!" Koushi puts his head on the table. "Do you think it's embarrassing to have a crush on me?"  
"You're an idiot; that's what you are." Tetsuro sighs. "If you're honestly asking, the answer's no. You're cool, and you're attractive."  
"Maybe he's just freaking out because, for sixteen years of his life, he's liked girls?"   
"I mean, a few weeks ago, he was always flirting with girls around us; that would make sense." Koutaro jumps in.  
"I hate this. I did not come out of the closet to be pushed in again."  
"Have you tried talking to him?" Tetsuro asks.  
"How could I?!"  
"That's the only way to find out what's going on."  
"I hate it when you're right."  
"Talk about the devil."  
Tooru sits down at their table, just not beside Koushi, which is the weirdest.  
"I hate English."  
"I had a presentation today. It was awful." Koutaro pats Tooru's back.  
"This kid's presentation was so long." He holds the 'o's for a dramatic effect; Koushi's noticed he does that a lot. "It was also very boring."  
"Ok, that's not important anymore." Tetsuro claps his hands once. "The battle of the bands is this weekend. I think we're ready."  
"I think we can win this thing."  
"What's the prize? I didn't even look into it." Tooru says.  
"I hope it's money," Koushi replies, but Tooru doesn't look at him when he talks. Tetsuro notices and looks at Koushi with a sympathizing smile.  
"I do have faith in us, but if we don't win. Remember, we're awesome, and we're only sixteen."  
"Also, they repeat the contest every year."  
"We would know."  
"Have you actually participated before?" Koushi is blown away by this new information.  
"We didn't tell you?" He shakes his head. "Well, we've been going at it for like two years."  
"We never make it past the first round." Koutaro sounds deflated.  
"But you guys are good!" Koushi exclaims, and Koutaro perks up a bit.  
"We never had an actual band."  
"Why?" Tooru speaks.  
"This is the first year we had auditions for it." Tetsuro shrugs.  
"I guess it's finally something we're both serious about."  
"Let's do it!" Koushi grins. It's been a while since he's been excited about anything in his life.  
"Hey, hey, hey!" Koutaro shouts, and almost everyone is looking at them now. Tetsuro barks a laugh as he tries to sit Koutaro down again.

Koushi's parents made a massive effort to both be free the night of the event. Tetsuro's parents are right there with them on the front row, most likely. His hands are sweating, and his legs are shaking. He's nervous; they all are.  
"What if I mess up the count?!" Koutaro is freaking out the most, and not even Tetsuro's hand in his is working its magic.  
"You won't." Tetsuro is holding his face in between his hands now. They're almost last on the list, and that built-in stress is slowly getting to them.  
"But what if I do?" Koutaro sighs. "I need to pee."  
"Let's go pee." Koushi has no idea how Tetsuro is so calm or at least looks calm.  
Tooru is sitting on a couch close to him, not talking. He figures this is a terrible time to ask what's been going on with them. He's had no time to talk to him lately; he hasn't seen him outside of lunch and rehearsal.  
"Hey." Koushi sits down beside him.  
"Hey." And it's then that he realizes this is the first word Tooru's said to him for almost a week.  
"Are you alright?" Koushi asks, but before Tooru can answer, he rephrases because that's not his question at all. "Are we alright?"  
"Why wouldn't we be?" Tooru flashes a smile at him, but it doesn't reach his eyes, so Koushi knows it's fake. He knows because he's seen the real thing.  
"Well, if something was going on, or if I did something wrong, you'd tell me, right?" Koushi feels somehow younger, way younger than sixteen.  
"Of course!" Tooru chirps. "That's what friends do!"  
Before Koushi has time to mourn the phrase, Tetsuro and Koutaro are back. A few minutes later, they are called on stage to perform.  
They should've practiced being on stage at least once; they only ever played for Tetsuro's parents. Koushi's afraid the guitar's gonna slip away from his hands because of how much he's sweating, and Koutaro doesn't look any better. At least Tetsuro seems calm, and Tooru looks whatever he looks like; he's trying not to think about it much. The lights are blinding, and he's glad Tetsuro made them practice as much and as hard as he did because that's all he can hold on to at the moment.   
"What's up!" Tooru's voice groans through the enormous speakers beside the stage, and the crowd goes wild. "We're The Wolves, and we'll be singing an original song for you this afternoon." He sees Tetsuro's mother screaming, and he chuckles. "We hope we can rock you." It's crazy how much the crowd screams and how sexual Tooru's voice sounds when he's addressing the crowd. He knows it's not only him because Tetsuro looks at him and makes a face.  
"One! Two! One, two, three, four!" Koutaro shouts above the noise, and as he starts playing, Tetsuro's beat jumps in, and Koushi feels his fingers move by themselves. He's never felt the rush consuming him like this. It's like being in a rollercoaster when the cart goes on what feels like a free fall. He feels his stomach come up to his throat but in a good way; it's excitement, not the nerves anymore, he feels. The crowd is going wild, and Koushi believes, for the first time, that they are great. People like them, and yes, they are only in high school, but he wants to keep doing this for the rest of his life. He wishes more things in life gave him this rush.  
And then it's time for his solo; he steps to the front, and he forgets about the chipped nail polish on his fingers, about the sweat in his hands, and the screams of the crowd. All he can hear is the sound of his heart beating to the beat of the chords and arpeggios he's playing. And when he's done, he opens his eyes, and a pair of brown eyes, his favorite pair, is staring back at him with a smile as he sings words he can't hear. The song is over too soon, but the four of them walk out of the stage jumping and screaming.   
"That was awesome!" Koutaro yells.  
"It was so different! Did you see that?" Tetsuro grabs at Koutaro's face. "They loved us!"  
And they hug as the next band tries to walk through them.   
"My hands won't stop shaking," Koushi says, to himself mostly. But hands cover his, and when he looks up, Tooru looks straight at him with a real smile.  
"You're amazing." He says. And after a second, that second is gone, and they are dragged into a group hug.  
They don't win the contest, but the biggest disappointment of the night is Koushi's; when they go meet their families, and Tooru comes to them with a girl hanging from his arm.   
"Hey guys, I want you to meet my girlfriend."   
Koushi's world comes crashing down, and he can see confusion in Tetsuro's and Koutaro's faces too. Nothing makes sense as he grabs this girl's hand, and she speaks a name he doesn't hear. And the two of them walk away, and the rest of the band stays there with him. But he still feels alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't sweat it friends, the drama won't last long lmao I love happy stories


	4. Strangers Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru is in a relationship for the next six months, so they start their second year of High School, barely on speaking terms. Koushi, Tetsuro and Koutaro are confused as to why this turn of events has happened. Koushi can only hope his heart doesn't break any further and that it doesn't affect their band dynamics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm sorry.  
> Second of all, this is not my fault.  
> Third of all, it's them who want to be dramatic ok

For weeks Koushi's life is only loud, but all he can hear is silence. It's the loudest part of it. He misses the jokes, the secret touches, and sleepovers before a tough test, but he misses his friend most of all. It's not like he stops seeing him or talking to him. They simply don't speak to each other anymore. He sees him twice a week at the Kuroo's music room and lunches some days. But they didn't have classes together, to begin with, so it's back to step one. 

Koushi doesn't really want to be friendly towards Tooru. He is hurt and confused and wants little to do with him to talk about the stuff inside his head. It itches at him, the anger, whenever he sees them together. She has long blond hair, and he has to admit she is pretty. He hasn't talked to her after they got introduced; he doesn't even remember her name. Tooru doesn't talk about her at rehearsal.

Whenever he sees the two of them in the hallway, he acts like he doesn't and keeps walking. He never looks back, fears that he'll find Tooru's eyes on him. He doesn't know how he'd react. He's afraid he'll cry at school, and lately, Koutaro and Tetsuro have been putting eyeliner on him. It's not waterproof, so he can't cry if he doesn't want to look like a raccoon in Biology. 

His mother started asking for him a week after the contest, used to Tooru's presence around the house all the time. She likes Tooru; more because he around means Koushi is around too. But he has been home lately; Tetsuro and Koutaro have been going out on dates; they also hung out together every day on winter break. He feels a little more lonely, but his mother was on vacation too, so they hung out for a while. 

Tetsuro and Koutaro still hang out with him all the time. He soon realizes that being the third wheel was easier when his heart wasn't broken. He misses not knowing what was happening. He wishes they could've just stayed friends. He would've understood if Tooru didn't like him back. He just didn't know why he never mentioned it. He can't believe he means it when he says he misses the uncertainty.

"You know what the worst part is?" He says out loud. The three of them are lying down on Tetsuro's bed, Koutaro is painting Koushi's nails.

"I bet the next thing that comes through your mouth is not going to be the worst part of anything."

"You know how they say when you're young, and you get your heart broken, it feels like the world is going to end?" Koutaro nods, and Tetsuro hums. "I don't feel like that."

"Isn't that good?" Koutaro blows on his nails. 

"It's like I'm missing a limb, but not like an arm or a leg. Like an extra limb."

"Does that make sense to you?" Tetsuro asks him.

"Like a tail?" Koutaro nods. "I totally get it."

"That made sense to you?" 

"I'm not sure it made sense, but that's how I feel." Koushi shrugs.

"It does make sense." Koutaro grabs for his other hand. "Careful, the polish isn't completely dry yet."

"So the worst part is that it doesn't hurt as much as you thought it would?"

"The worst part is that I think I was expecting it." Tetsuro nods at that, and the conversation switches to nail polish colors and  _ Hey babe, are you going to wear black or blue this time? _

He feels guilty for what happened to him. As he talks it out to his friends, he realizes he did see it coming. He should've paid more attention to details, took things more seriously. There were a lot of obvious little things he did notice but didn't think twice about. Tooru's hand letting go when someone was watching, him freaking out when there was a noise in the house while they were making out, he never stopped flirting with girls around them. He gives a pat on the back to himself; he thought he was doing that so girls would leave Koutaro and Tetsuro alone. Except girls had not been around them since they started holding hands in the hallways and making out in different public spots at school. 

He wants to make himself guilty for what happened because he can't find it in himself to be angry at Tooru. They never talked about what was happening. He should've either stopped or spoke to him. But he chose not to, too afraid of getting rejected. But if he thinks about it now, rejection would've been better than this. Rejection would've been better than silence. Koutaro's noise could never dream of being as loud as Tooru's absence.

Tooru is in a relationship for the next six months, so they start their second year of High School, barely on speaking terms. His life doesn't change much after Tooru starts dating this girl; he still hangs out with his friends, makes new ones, and even joins an amateur volleyball team in the park near his house. The guys are friendly and refreshing. They only play games with each other, but it makes time pass when he has nothing else to do. 

He's been thinking about what he's going to do after High School too. He knows he wants to go to college. He also knows he wants to keep making music with The Wolves. Koutaro, Tetsuro, and he have been talking about going to the same University. He knows he has the grades and motives to get a scholarship over there but knows he won't have the money to move.

Tooru is still a part of what he wants, but he's trying to swallow the fact that there is no way they'll be together. He just wishes they could at least still be friends. Tooru doesn't seem to think that way; after he got over his initial heartbreak, Koushi tried to hang out with him and talk again, but Tooru wouldn't let him.

He was afraid that whatever had happened between them would affect the band's dynamics, but it never did. They still played in perfect synchrony. But as soon as they were done, Tooru left. The three of them hadn't talked to him in months. And for months, he had the decency of not mentioning where he was going.

"Hey, Suga-chan," Tooru speaks, and it's the first time he's heard the nickname in such a long time.

"Yeah?" He is as confused as Koutaro and Tetsuro look, and it shouldn't have to be this way.

"I don't have anyone else to ask." He looks like he is speaking the truth, but still, Koushi has a bad feeling.

"What's up?" He hopes his voice sounds casual. Koutaro and Tetsuro try to act like they can't hear anything, whispering low to each other on the couch they're sitting on.

"Well, you know exams are coming up again." Koushi wasn't just expecting this; he was hoping for it too. What he wasn't expecting is what comes next. "Mina and I need some help in math. Do you think you could tutor us?" 

"Mina?" His voice cracks, and he feels betrayed, broke, but he feels a fire inside of him more than that. "You mean your idiot girlfriend can't do math either, so now you need my help? Now you talk to me?" He regrets bad-mouthing the girlfriend; he doesn't know her. But it's all he feels. 

"She's not an idiot!" Tooru retails.

"Then why can't she teach you?!" He rushes out of the room and into the closest bathroom before he starts crying.

He hears Tetsuro yelling before he locks himself inside a Christmas decorated bathroom. It's almost summer, but Tetsuro says his mom likes to keep things festive throughout the year.

The yelling stops, and a minute later, he hears soft knocks on the door. 

"Hey, Suga. Can I come in?" Tetsuro speaks calmly. The only other time he's heard this tone of voice was when they tried to comfort him after Tooru introduced them to his girlfriend.

He hums in response, and Tetsuro comes in. He should know by now that he doesn't have to be quiet and careful when Koushi's upset. 

"He's an asshole." He says.

"He is." Koushi answers.

"Bo yelled at him." That surprises Koushi.

"What? Why?"

"Because." Koutaro comes in, arms crossed in front of his chest. "That was not nice."

"I wasn't nice either."

"But he deserved it." Tetsuro pats him in the head. "And you're our best friend."

"He is our best friend too." Koushi sniffs; the words hurt him because he knows they're a lie he tells himself, even six months after. Tears no longer coming out.

"Yeah, but he hasn't been a very good friend lately."

"That's true." He nods.

"And you've been very patient, despite his bullshit."

"I have been very patient."

"I think the problem is that you look so good doing it."

"Yeah, maybe he forgot he's supposed to be straight and panicked." 

Koushi laughs and hugs them both.

"You guys are my best friends too."

"I think you should talk to him." Tetsuro whispers. Koushi nods; maybe he should. 

He either doesn't find the time to talk to Tooru, or he is prolonging doing so, but he hasn't spoken to Tooru, and it's been two weeks. He's seen him at rehearsals, and he sees him with the girl walking through the school hallways. But he doesn't make an effort to get him alone. It's hard lately. He has tried a little bit; he looked for him once. He waited outside of his classroom, but a second before the bell rang, Mina was standing on the other side of the door, and he just left.

It would be easier to do so at Tetsuro's house while they had a break from rehearsal, but Tooru acts like he is Koutaro's fifth limb. So it deems impossible as well. 

It's the Tuesday before exam week when he finds Tooru alone. He is sitting on a bench outside of school, kicking the dirt with his white shoes. He knows, for a fact, his mother is going to scold him. He walks towards him because this is the best chance he'll get and kicks his foot lightly.

"Hey." He says.

"Suga-chan!" He smiles at him. "I was waiting for you." He pats the bench beside where he is sitting.

Koushi sits down. He wants to run away, to forget this whole issue. But he promised Tetsuro he would talk to him. They all miss Tooru, he's been around, but he hasn't  _ been around.  _

"I'm sorry." 

"For which part?"

"All of it." Tooru sighs and continues. "For being an asshole, for being selfish, for being afraid."

"Ok." Is all Koushi can say because he feels guilty himself. He would never say that out loud, but he does. It pains him more to not have Tooru in his life than any heartbreak ever could.

"Ok, you forgive me, or just ok?" 

"I'm not sure yet." Koushi looks at him. "But I can teach you math." 

"Really?" Tooru seems surprised; it's the first time in six months Koushi's seen that smile.

"I can teach  _ you _ math." He gets up and grabs at his bag strap. "Tomorrow after rehearsal and Thursday after school." He walks away and leaves Tooru by himself.

His cheeks hurt from smiling like an idiot when they finish rehearsal the next day. They played better than ever before. They have been writing a new song, and they nailed it. They are going to start posting videos online of them playing covers. Tooru comes up with the idea; he has a camera from when he used to film and shoot stuff for an alien conspiracy blog (he doesn't say, but Koushi knows). He also claims to have a friend that edits the videos. 

"That's so awesome!" Koutaro almost yells.

"Let's do it!" Tetsuro says.

"Are you in?" Tooru asks Koushi.

"I am if you are." And he grins because he missed this. He missed his friend.

"It's settled then." Tooru claps. "I'll bring Iwa-chan and the camera next time we have rehearsals!" 

"Remember we're not rehearsing until we're done with exams!" Tetsuro reminds them.

"Yeah, yeah. We know." Koutaro puts his arm around Tetsuro's shoulders. "We have plans of our own."

Koushi talked to the both of them the second they walked into class after he spoke to Tooru. He was excited to have his friend back; even if he wanted more than friendship, having him close would be enough. As they walked towards Koushi's house, it was. They talked about a new sci-fi documentary, school, and music. Tooru doesn't mention Mina, and Koushi is thankful.

"A teacher told me if I keep my grades up, I might be able to apply for a scholarship next year," Tooru says suddenly, breaking the silence. 

"What?! That's amazing!" Koushi grins at him.

"It's all thanks to you." Tooru grips both straps on his backpack. "I really wouldn't have even thought about it before."

"Nah, it's all you. I only helped you learn some formulas."

He can feel Tooru's eyes on him, but he continues to look forward. He's been afraid to hold eye contact with him this past day, fearful of what he's capable of doing.

His mom is already getting things ready for dinner when they walk inside the house. As soon as she notices Tooru, her eyes shine. 

"Tooru-kun!" She squeals. "Where have you been?" She hugs him, Koushi feels jealous.  _ Jealous of your mom, amazing. _

They go up to his room and spread notebooks, worksheets, and two textbooks on the table. Koushi doesn't mention the fact that his is from middle school, but he smiles at them just the same. Tooru puts his glasses on, and they get to work. Reviewing the whole cursus will take a while, but with Koushi's tutoring last semester, it has to go by quickly. 

They go over the easiest topics first so that Tooru can feel more comfortable. Tooru seems to know what's going on with basic algebra; it's trigonometry that he has to go over more. Good thing trig is Koushi's specialty. 

"So Sine and Cosine are complementary to each other." Koushi mentions.

"Yeah, I know that, and Tangent and Cotangent are a pair too. I figured that's why they named them the same." He sighs. "How is that supposed to help me solve this problem?" 

Koushi feels terrible; they've been trying to get angles for hours. His mom has already brought two plates of cookies, which Tooru stress ate more than half of them. It's not the theory he has a problem with. It's the fact that he's not going to be able to remember all the formulas for the exam.

"Look, it's easy. You already know the hardest part." Koushi moves beside Tooru, too close, their thighs touching.  _ He has a girlfriend;  _ he __ has to remind himself. 

"You say that because you're a genius." 

"People like you call me a genius because I study a lot." He takes the pencil from Tooru's hand and gets even closer until he can write on Tooru's notes. "Just remember this. SOH CAH TOA." He spells as he writes it down.

"Socatoa?" He reads it in one go; Koushi figures that it has to work.

"You get the sin of the angle by dividing the opposite side over the hypotenuse."

"So, that's SOH." Tooru stays quiet for a second, but he starts mumbling. "The cosine angle equals the adjacent side over the hypotenuse."

"That's CAH."

"And TOA is the tangent. Oh my god! I get it!" Nothing could've prepared Koushi for the smile that Tooru's lips form. His eyes are bright and full of life as he stares right into him. Koushi can't help but smile. He knows he's blushing, but it doesn't matter, not when Tooru is looking at him like he just solved the mysteries of the universe. "You're the best thing to ever happen to me." 

He has to ignore his heartbeat. He has to concentrate on not moving, not even an inch. He is afraid if he tries to move backward, he will end up kissing Tooru by accident. 

He doesn't have to be afraid for long because Tooru is kissing him a second later. For a moment, he forgets whatever is going on; he forgets about Mina (who he claims not to know her name), he forgets about math, about music, about breathing. He forgets he is trying to forget. He forgets he is trying to no feel. He forgets he is not supposed to kiss lips that weren't made for kissing lips like his. 

He remembers, though, how much it hurt last time. And the idea of going through that again makes him push Tooru away. He feels his bottom lip quivering and his eyes watering. It hurts, even now, to know he is not supposed to do what he wants. Because even if Tooru is choosing not to respect his relationship, Mina is not to blame for anything. Koushi is going to respect her, even if he doesn't like her.

"We can't." He whispers, his voice broken.

"Why?" 

"Are you for real?" 

"No one has to know." They're whispering; it's a secret even to themselves. That's when it hits him; it's always been a secret. He is Tooru's secret. "I thought you liked me?" It sounds like a question.

"I do." Koushi's eyes are leaking, his view is blurry, and he's glad. He's not ready to see Tooru's face right now. "But not like this." 

"What do you mean? I thought-"

"I do like you like this." He interrupts. "I mean, I don't want it to be this way."

"Oh." Tooru is quiet for a while. "I-I can't." 

"I'm not asking you to. But if you want to be with me, you can't have a girlfriend. I don't like sharing." Koushi looks him straight in the eye. "If you're not up for it, we can always be friends." He slides away from him to grab a cookie. 

"Can I think about it?" The words come out of Tooru, almost inaudible.

"I think thinking about it is the right thing to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [I'd love nothing more than you coming to say hi on my twitter!!](https://twitter.com/WritingBamf)


	5. Smells Like Teen Spirit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things seem normal between Suga and Oikawa? At least that's what Suga thinks.  
> Maybe too normal? Can they be more normal than normal? Can they just be them again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was having an emotional breakdown but I'm back now lmao.  
> I had burnout for a few days, I'll finish writing everything that's not finished.  
> Sorry for taking this long to update!!!  
> But here it is, and I love this chapter :D

Koushi doesn't speak to Tooru much the next couple of days. They still study together, but nothing more. Without band rehearsal, that's the only time they are together and alone. Even with all that's been going on, Koushi knows he is in a better mood lately; both his friends and mother have told him so. Exam week is about to end, and even though he will miss studying with Tooru, he'll have rehearsals back. 

He's been missing Koutaro and Tetsuro, Koutaro most of all. He sees Tetsuro in class every day, but Koutaro only at lunch. They all have been studying hard for exams. Koushi and Tetsuro are basically in the college of their choice; if Koutaro wants to come with them, he needs to start getting better grades. 

"I have not failed any class since last year!" He says one day at lunch.

"I'm glad, babe. I'm proud too."

"Yeah, Bo. You're definitely gonna make it!" 

"What happens if I don't get in, though?" 

"We'll all make it, Bo-chan!" The nickname makes Koushi look up from his food, smiling. 

"Oikawa!" Koutaro says. "Hell yeah, we will!" 

"So, did you make a choice about college too?" Tetsuro asks as Tooru sits down beside Koushi. "We should start applying early!"

"Yeah, I've been making a lot of choices lately, it seems."

"All good, I hope." Koushi jokes under his breath, making sure Tooru hears it. He gives him a side glance; Koushi feels his eyes on him and smiles.

"I miss band practice. My arms hurt from not drumming!" Koutaro whines, and Tetsuro taps his back.

"Do you mean you don't practice when we don't have rehearsal?" Koushi looks at him with a ridiculous expression.

"My parents don't appreciate-" He moves his hands as he speaks as if that would help them understand better. "My life choices concerning music."

"What? Why?" Asks Tooru in disbelief.

"Another story for another time," Tetsuro says as soon as the bell rings. He takes Koutaro's hand; he looks deflated. "I'll walk Kou to class, okay? See you in a sec!" He says to Koushi, and they walk away. 

"What do you think that was about?" Tooru asks as they get up.

"I'm not sure." He sighs. "But I know he'll tell us when he's ready."

"Better get to class," Tooru says. "I have trig next." He rolls his eyes but is smiling.

"Good luck on the test!" He's not thinking when he puts a hand on Tooru's cheek. "I'm sure you'll do great." 

Tooru holds his hand and nods. They separate slowly as the second bell rings.  _ Go _ Koushi mouths, and Tooru is on his way to either murder or be murdered by the trigonometry midterm. He has a test himself, but he knows English is an easy subject for him. 

When he gets to the classroom, Tetsuro is already there reviewing their study guide. A couple of classmates around him.

"Where'd you get that?" One of them asks, astonished. 

"What do you mean where?" Tetsuro scowls. "We made it." He points at Koushi. 

"What!" One of them yelps. "You had this all along, and you never cared to share?"

"Why would we share it with you?" Koushi crosses his arms. He knows it's the truth; they have no reasons. The rest of their classmates don't pay much attention to them; the two are just a couple of nerds for them. Tetsuro has the money going on for him, but now, he is gay and taken, so there's not much to bargain for. 

"Tendo is having a party next weekend!" One of the girls says. "I'll get you guys invites if you let me take a picture." 

Koushi and Tetsuro look at each other. This would be Koushi's first High School party, and it would be Tetsuro's first, not formal one.

"And what do I get from hosting them in my house?" A tall, red-head guy walks into the room. Koushi thinks he's seen him before. 

"Dude, you're long!" Tetsuro laughs and stands up in front of him, measures both of their heads with his hand. "Holy shit, we're the same size." He grins at Koushi. Tendo laughs too.

"Maybe I have a couple of empty seats." 

"How do you do in English class?" Koushi asks, eyeing the students taking pictures of their guide. 

"I mean, it's not bad. It could be better, though."

"I have a proposition for you." Tetsuro puts his elbow on Tendo's shoulder and grins. He nods in response. "I'll give you this." He takes the guide from Koushi's hands. "If you get us, plus two more people into your party." 

"Dude, consider it done. Where'd you get this?" Tendo inspects the pages.

"We made it." Koushi smiles.

"We'll bring booze too if you let us play at it." 

"Play?"

"We have a band." 

"What kind of booze?" 

"I'll let you choose." Tetsuro grins.

"I'll text you the details." Tendo walks towards his seat. 

"We got ourselves a gig," Tetsuro says at Koushi while he fist bumps him.

"He doesn't even have your number. How is he gonna text you the details?" Koushi whispers. 

A notification sound comes from Tetsuro's phone. He checks it and looks back at Koushi, wide-eyed.

"Duuuuude."

They come out of school on Friday together. They have their first rehearsal after the two weeks of midterms, and Tetsuro and Koushi have great news for them today.

"Guess what happened this week," Tetsuro says while he is tuning the bass.

"You passed all your exams?" Koutaro smiles at him.

"That's a given, Bo." Koushi laughs.

"We got a gig!" 

"What? Where?" Tooru plays a tuned chord and connects the pedal to his guitar. 

"At a party we got invited to, next Friday!" 

"Whose party?" 

"Remember Tendo? Tall, red hair, freakishly big eyes?" Tetsuro asks Koutaro.

"Yes! Dude is long." 

"That's him!" Koushi laughs. "He's the same length as Kuroo, though."

"No!" Koutaro's eyes shine. 

"What are we going to play?" Tooru intervenes. 

"I say we play some popular songs." 

"You can never go wrong with covers." Koushi nods. 

"Let's pick a list and start playing!" Koutaro cries. "It's been too long." He puts his arms up. "My arms need rock and roll!" 

"Chill out and come up with at least two songs."

After a few minutes of browsing through Youtube and Spotify, they pick a set of eight songs they all agree on.

"That'll keep us on for roughly half an hour." Tetsuro clicks the pen to retract the tip.

"I think they're in the right order too." Koushi nods, eyeing the sheet.

"Are we going to play them all in one go? Or will we stop at each song?" 

"Maybe we can just speak at the beginning and in the end?" Tooru scratches his head.

"Yeah, you're good at that." Koushi agrees.

"Cough it all up! Cough it all up!" Koutaro laughs while Tetsuro pats him in the back.

"I told you not to inhale as much!"

"I thought it would be like a cigarette!" Koushi scowls. "You said it was the same!" 

"My man, if you thought nicotine was good for your nerves, you're in for a wild ride." 

"Will this make me stupid?" 

"Just a bit."

"Kou has been doing this for longer. You be the judge of that."

"Hey!" Koutaro hits Tetsuro on the shoulder.

"I'm fucked." Koushi says as he drags the rolled-up joint again.

"You've been under a lot of stress lately. This is going to help you relax." Koutaro lies down on the grass.

"Should we be doing this before the rehearsal?" 

"Oikawa's never going to notice. He's too much of a prude." Tetsuro says as he takes the joint from Koushi's hands.

"I don't think he's ever even smelled weed." 

"Probably not," Koushi answers as he joins Koutaro on the floor. 

"You've never noticed it!" Koutaro exclaims.

"Have you been high around me?" Koushi squints at both of them.

"Dude, we're high all the time!" Koutaro laughs.

"Not all the time." Tetsuro passes the joint to Koutaro. "But it's easier to get than alcohol." He shrugs.

It's hot outside, and Koushi thinks he'd much rather drink something cold than smoke. But life has given him these friends and a curious mind, so he smokes. It's only a few minutes after Tooru arrives that he starts to feel the consequences of his actions.

"I don't hate it." He whispers at Tetsuro in the middle of tuning their instruments. 

"I told you." Tetsuro grins. "Do you feel relaxed?" 

"It's like I don't have a care in the world."

"Because you don't." Tetsuro grins. "Now play like it, or Oikawa is gonna get our asses."

"I wish."

Tetsuro barks out a laugh, and Koushi joins soon after. Koutaro perks up, and when Tetsuro snorts, unable to stop laughing, he joins in. 

"What are you on?" Tooru glares at them. It only makes them laugh harder. 

A few minutes after, they are playing through the list of songs they made. It's a couple of catchy pop songs and fun-to-play rock classics. Koushi always gets away with his mind wandering around. He makes it up with raw talent. Tooru's voice sounds nice when he sings pop. He closes his eyes and imagines him being closer. He's not sure he will be able to stop thinking about him when he's alone at night. He felt terrible the first couple of times, but he is only a teenage boy at the end of the day. 

When they finish up, he is drenched in sweat and thirstier than he's ever been. It's hot, so close to summer. Tetsuro's maid knocks twice and opens the door. 

"Do you kids want some iced tea?" 

"Yes!" Koushi says, nodding.

"Thank you, Kimi." Tetsuro smiles at her. She nods once and closes the door as she leaves.

"I love her." Koutaro sighs. "She's so nice."

"She is." Koushi agrees. "She's always feeding us. Keeps us alive."

"Isn't she amazing?" Tetsuro joins in. "The very best."

"We should ask her to join our band!" Koutaro looks like he just discovered a new planet.

"Yes!" I love this idea." Koushi hasn't stopped nodding.

"Are you idiots okay?" Tooru stares at them like they grew two heads. Tetsuro looks at him, grinning. "Forget I even asked." 

Koushi and Tooru walk back home together. Koushi's high long gone. It's only the warm night keeping him afloat. It's been a while since they walked home together just because. They walk in comfortable silence; they don't have much to talk about nowadays. Koushi assumes he's been with his girlfriend since he's been with Tetsuro and Koutaro.

"I've been talking to Iwa-chan," Tooru speaks. "He's available to help us record a video next month."

"So during summer break?" 

"Shit, that's right." 

"It's weird, isn't it?" Tooru doesn't say anything. He doesn't think he has to. "How fast time has gone by."

"We're literally almost in the middle of our High School life." 

"And all I've done is study." 

"You're also in a band."

"True." He sighs. "It feels like I've studied more than I've been in the band." Koushi chuckles. "I thought my life was going to change once I got in High School, you know? Like I was going to become a different person."

"Why would you ever want to change?"

"I don't know. There are so many things I want and can't have because of how I am."

"Like what?" Tooru looks at him, and Koushi stops walking. He looks him right in the eye.

"You."

Tooru doesn't know what to say, so he doesn't say anything. He gave Koushi a chance to have him. He offered him as much as he could, and it was not enough. Koushi wants him whole. He doesn't want half of him. He knows Tooru wants him too, in the same way, but not exactly.

"Sorry." He turns around and keeps walking. "I shouldn't have said that."

"It's okay," Tooru says.

They don't speak again until they reach the crossroad that separates their ways. They talk again only to say  _ goodbye _ and  _ see you tomorrow _ . Koushi wishes he could feel that high again so he could forget about the pain. He feels like a little kid who doesn't get his way. Like he wants the one toy his parents didn't get him for Christmas. He doesn't feel an emptiness inside him. It's just a longing. But he can't help the tears falling from his eyes as he crosses the door to his house.

"Hey, Koushi! You're back!" His mother's voice calls from inside the kitchen. The house smells like burnt butter. There's probably a batch of cookies in the oven. "Oh, baby, what's wrong?" His mother says as soon as he sees him. He starts crying.

"It's not fair." 

"What's not fair, darling?" She hugs him and soothingly pats his head.

"I love him, mom." Her mom hums and nods. He can feel it at the top of his head. "And he loves me too." 

"So, what's the problem here?" He pushes her away to look her in the eye with an annoyed expression.

"His girlfriend's the problem." He sits down at the table and grabs a warm cookie from the plate at the center. He munches on it angrily.

His mother doesn't say anything else. She keeps washing the dishes and hums the tune of Walking on Sunshine. 

Saying it out loud to someone who is not Tetsuro or Koutaro makes it real. He knows they love each other. He also knows Tooru's girlfriend is not the actual problem. The real issue is Tooru is not out, and he's not sure he wants to be.

Next Friday comes, days go by between classes and rehearsals. They can play through the whole set without mistakes, and they even made Tooru practice his speech. It's going to help them with the next Battle of the Bands. It's getting closer every day. 

They're all excited about the gig. The four of them are bunched up in Tetsuro's bed, retouching each other's nails.

"They're gonna chip off anyway," Tetsuro argues but lets Koutaro paints them nonetheless. 

"But we have to look good." His boyfriend says.

"Don't poke my eye," Koushi tells Tooru as he tries to paint his eyeliner. "And don't make a cat-eye."

"But you look so good in that!" Koutaro argues.

"But I don't want a cat-eye!"

"I won't do a cat-eye, then." Tooru pulls his cheek down and paints his water line. "Try not to cry." Koushi rolls his eyes. "Or roll your eyes. You're making this harder than it should, Suga-chan!" 

"Sorry, sorry." 

Tendo told Tetsuro and Koushi he would provide the instruments and the scenario. He hired a band that will play once they're done, so everything will be ready. All they have to do now is get alcohol. 

"He's not going to say no." Tetsuro shrugs before they walk into his father's office. "Father." He says as soon as he closes the door.

"What now, Tetsu?" He looks tired. Koushi thinks he would, too, if he had a son like his. 

"So, we have a party."

"Is that the reason you look like a pack of raccoons?" His father chuckles.

"Not the point, dad."

"Okay, so are you asking for permission?"

"Yes." He grins. "But not exactly. Mom already said yes."

"What do you need me for, then?"

"We kinda need your help because you are the best father I've ever had." He puts his hand on his heart. "Have I told you lately how amazing you've been?" 

"How much money do you want?" He glares at his son. Koushi can't contain his laughter. Koutaro is trying to hide his under a fake cough. 

"Is that what you take me for?!" Tetsuro gasps. "I feel offended!" His father seems unamused. 

"We just want to know if we can have some booze, Mr. Kuroo." Koutaro jumps in.

"Dude! You need to be discrete!" Tetsuro stares at him.

"If you bring him home late, after past my bedtime." Mr. Kuroo smiles at Koutaro. "You can grab whatever's in the cabinet." 

"This is illegal, you know," Tetsuro says as he unlocks the cabinet and passes down some bottles to the other guys. "Like, I'm almost of age, but not really."

"Tetsu, just take them. I'd rather know what you're drinking." He sighs. "Call me if you boys need a ride home." 

"Oh, they'll be spending the night!" Tetsuro says as they walk out of the office. 

"I'll let Kimi know." He sighs. Koushi thinks he must sigh a lot. 

Tooru disappears as soon as they walk inside Tendo's house, but after Tetsuro reminds him,  _ we're due in half an hour! _ Koushi can't contain any more anxiety inside his body, so he asks the two of them for a well needed smoke break. He chooses nicotine, though, because he doesn't want to choose any drug that could mess with his head. He doesn't want to think about what he could do under the influence of whatever. 

They're putting the instruments in place when Tooru comes back. He grabs his guitar and starts tunning it. They turn on the amplifiers and test the sounds. People are beginning to gather around. It feels like the whole school is there. Koushi recognizes people from some of his classes, some he's seen around town. It takes him a few seconds to realize, but he does. Tooru is drunk. Intoxicated with, he hopes, Tetsuro's booze and nothing else. He leaves his guitar on the stand and walks towards him. 

"Are you alright?" He asks, cautious. 

"I'm sorry," Tooru answers as he leans into him. Koushi knows he's about to get kissed by some who is taken, in front of everyone. So he puts his arms out and holds him.

"What are you doing?" Koushi looks out for help. The crowd is definitely not going to give him answers, and his two other friends are so close to each other, whispering into each other's ears. "You have a girlfriend, remember her?" He hates himself when he mentions it, but it's the truth.

"No, I don't. I broke up with her." 

"W-what?"

"Yeah, we broke up. Bummer." Tooru grins, staring right into his eyes. He's leaning into Koushi's hands for support. 

"Is that why you're drunk?" 

"What? No!" Tooru scrunches his face, he steadies on his feet. He is about to touch his face but stops. "We broke up weeks ago."

"What do you mean you broke up weeks ago?" 

"Well, we did. Remember when you came to me one morning, and I said I was sorry, and you started talking about math?" Koushi remembers it vaguely, but he nods either way. "Well, I was going to say something, but you didn't let me."

"So why do you look like you're on the verge of tears and got drunk?" 

"I look like I'm on the verge of tears because I'm drunk," Tooru repeats. 

"Will you be okay singing like this?" 

"Pff, of course. I've done far more difficult tasks under the influence of intoxicating substances."

"Okay." 

Koushi can't process what he just heard, so he steadies Tooru with his hands and walks away. He looks back a few times before he reaches his guitar. He looks at Tetsuro, who is looking between the two, and then his eyes land on Koushi. He stares at him, questioning.  _ It's okay,  _ Koushi mouths at him, and he nods back once. 

Tooru looks back at them, his eyes asking one question:  _ Are you ready?  _ They all nod; they've never been more ready. Tooru holds his stare on Koushi's eyes for a few seconds and smiles. 

"Hello, hello! How are you tonight?!" Tooru shouts through the microphone. The crowd is disperse, but people are looking at them. "We're The Wolves. We'll be here with you for a little while, but in your minds forever." Koushi can  _ hear  _ the smirk in his voice. "Enjoy."

"One, two - one, two, three!" Koutaro shouts, and they start playing their first song. People are gathering around more and more as they play. Tooru is captivating; Koushi sees all eyes on him. Maybe it's just Koushi's. He knows he is grinning like an idiot. Tooru doesn't have a girlfriend anymore. Tooru hasn't pushed him away lately. Tooru hasn't leaned away from his touch. But, Tooru broke his heart. Tooru lied to him. Tooru tried to hide whatever they were from the world. 

As he sings pop songs, Koushi thinks about all that. While he plays through the same four chords, he concentrates on the messy brown hair and the pretty smile on his face. He looks back at Koushi a few times, and he focuses on beautiful brown eyes, too, highlighted by black eyeliner. When Tooru looks at the audience, he can only think of broad backs and hard, muscled thighs—of hands touching him under his shirt and over his shorts. Of lips kissing him and sucking on his earlobe, of his own hand touching himself at night.

He should stop this train of thought because there's not much he can do about it. And he can feel himself already getting hard, and they're not even through half the set yet. He wishes he wasn't a High School boy. He wants to be grown up and take his life into his own hands. He wants to be able to go up to Tooru and tear him apart with his mouth. He wants to grab his hand and invite him to go back home with him and love him, love him, love him. Like he does from afar now, but closer. So much closer.

Between his fantasy and playing similar chords through each song, the half-hour goes by without any issues. 

"Thank you! See you, hopefully, soon." Tooru grins at the audience, leaves the mic and guitar on their respective stands. He walks out of the stage where Tetsuro and Koutaro are already waiting. Koushi quickly takes off the strap and puts the guitar somewhere before he drops it. 

"I'm so full of energy!" Koutaro screams. "That was amazing!" 

"It was so awesome. Did you hear the people?" Koutaro hugs Tooru and Koutaro. Koushi stares at them, speechless.

"They were singing with me." Tooru half-whispers. "Imagine how it'd feel to have them sing our own songs!"

"Did they really?" Koushi asks. He has no idea what happened the past half-hour. His brain is still trying to process imaginary sexual acts with Tooru. If he wasn't wearing tight jeans, he's sure everyone would have noticed by now. 

"Are you alright?" Tetsuro asks, concerned.

"Yeah, I just-" He looks at Tooru, who is looking back at him. "I gotta pee." 

Koutaro barks out a laugh and grabs a joint from inside Tetsuro's jacket. 

"Time to have fun." He says.

"Is that  _ weed _ ?" Koushi can hear Tooru's voice, but he's already walking towards the house.

"Wanna try?" It is the last thing he hears before his ears get filled with chatter and drunken yelling. 

He stands in line to use the bathroom for at least 10 minutes. He doesn't need to go and is not sure why he is even in line. But it gives him time to breathe. He needs to get his mind straight. Tooru not having a girlfriend doesn't mean anything. He didn't have a girlfriend when they were first making out on his bed. But he did have a girlfriend when he tried to kiss him again on his floor, once again, surrounded by math worksheets. 

Koushi can't forget the heartbreak and the pain he felt. He was never going to die from what Tooru made him feel, but he does think he has no more tears to cry out, ever. So he stands in line for the bathroom, for the sole purpose of being away from Tooru. He knows if they are left alone, and Tooru is drunk, things can happen. 

He sits on the closed toilet for a while until someone knocks on the door.  _ Coming,  _ he says and splashes water on his face. He opens the door, and a girl he's never seen before squeezes around him and closes the door with a slam. There's no longer a line; he might've been in there too much. There looks to be another bathroom somewhere in the house. 

"Are you really okay?" Tooru's voice comes from behind him, and a hand holds onto his shoulder. 

"Are you?" He turns around. Tooru isn't stumbling anymore, and he can hold his stare. He's not smiling or joking. "I am."

"Me too."

"What happened?" He doesn't have to ask what he means by that. The way Tooru's face changes when he speaks lets him know.

"I talked to my mother," He looks away from Koushi. "I-I told her."

"What?" Koushi isn't in sync with Tooru's thoughts.

"About you," He sighs. "And me. About us." He looks up.

"Did it go wrong? Is that why you were drinking?"

"No," He looks down again. "I went to say hello to some friends, and they gave me some shots of something."

_ Was I overthinking everything? _

"You always do, Suga-chan." Tooru laughs.

"Did I say that out loud?" 

"Either that or all this alien conspiracy information has given me mind-reading powers." He wiggles his eyebrows, exactly like Tetsuro does. They're all rubbing off on each other.

"How'd it go?" 

"What happened when you told your mom you're gay?" Tooru asks instead of answering, Koushi doesn't want to press him.

"Coming out was a complete mess. Not my parent's fault; they were always great." He sits down on a couch. Tooru lingers close to him. "It was on accident. It pains me how stereotypical it was." He laughs. 

"What happened?" Tooru sits down. 

"I was playing seven minutes in heaven." Tooru snorts. "I know. They opened the door on us and then started laughing. I didn't care much. I knew I was gay." Koushi sighs. "I had to say I made him kiss me." 

"What the heck, why?" 

"Because I liked him." He looks at Tooru. "Then, his mom called my mom, and it was a complete mess." 

"Sounds messy."

"He was my best friend." He smiles. "And I got suspended from school because some guys said I was stalking them, I don't know." 

"And-were you?"

"Fuck no, they were ugly." Tooru laughs now, entirely and sincere. 

"You're too pretty for ugly guys."

"I know." 

They stare at each other for a second. The silence is the loudest thing both can hear, even with the band playing at full sound in the yard. Tooru is beautiful, more than he knows. Even with his cocky attitude and sarcasm, he knows he is not aware of how beautiful he is. It kind of makes him want to cry.

"I like you so much." He whispers. 

"Me too."

"But you hurt me. A lot." 

"I know."

"I wish I could just move past it. Because I really am so in love with you." His view is blurry. He feels a tear falling down his cheek. "But I don't know if I can trust you."

"Will you at least let me try?" Tooru wipes his tears with his thumb. "I promise I won't hurt you again."

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I promise I'll try to never hurt you again in my life."

Koushi kisses him, and for the first time in his life, Tooru doesn't care how many eyes are looking at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the weed experience at least seems legit, I wouldn't know lol. I just remembered they smoke in Welcome to the Jungle because they quit weed, which means they smoked weed lmao idk what I'm doing help

**Author's Note:**

> I'm finally done with this lmao, this is about to go down with a ton of high school drama ohgod i can't waiiiiiit
> 
> Follow my twitter folks so you can talk to me and make me write when I'm not twitting about writing: https://twitter.com/WritingBamf


End file.
